What if I have a problem talking with my doctor?
ACS Answer
If you have a problem talking with your doctor, there are often ways to improve the situation. Try working out your concerns before deciding that the situation is hopeless. First of all, state your concern as honestly and openly as possible. Here are some opening statements you may want to consider:
- "I'm concerned that we aren't communicating well, and here's why."
- "I need to be able to talk with you about _________, and I feel like I can't. Can we discuss this?"
- "I realize that you're very busy, but I need very much to discuss _________ at more length. Can we schedule a time to do that?"
- "I'm having trouble understanding ___________. Can you help me?"
If you are unable to work out the problem during your regular visits with your doctor, ask for a special visit to discuss it. If the issue directly concerns your cancer treatment, go to the meeting with as much knowledge as possible. You can call us at 1-(800) ACS-2345 for more information about cancer. Always tell your doctor where you get your information and then ask for his or her opinion.
Even if you feel frustrated or angry, try to avoid being hostile or accusatory toward your doctor. Often people will become defensive and withdraw if they feel attacked – a response that will be unhelpful in the long run. State your concerns and questions clearly and honestly, without making accusations.
What should you do if you feel you have done your part but the situation has not improved? You might consider talking with a third party about the problem. The head nurse or your family doctor might be willing to discuss the matter with the doctor. Sometimes this is less stressful than facing the doctor directly, and their help could improve the situation.
If not, it may be time to find a new doctor. Don't stay with a doctor only to protect his or her feelings. Just because you were referred to the doctor does not mean you can't decide to change on your own. It's your body and you have the right to find the best doctor for you.
Related Resources
Get more information on talking with your doctor.
Get more information on how to handle communication problems with your doctor.
Find books that cover this and other cancer topics at the American Cancer Society bookstore.
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