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What can I do if I am anxious and fearful?

ACS Answer

Anxiety and fear are common feelings that patients and families have when coping with cancer. These feelings are normal because they are ways to cope with the stress of cancer. You might feel fearful or anxious because of changes in your ability to continue family duties, loss of control over events in your life, changes in your body image, uncertainty about your future, or worry about suffering, pain, and the unknown.

Members of your family also may have these feelings because of uncertainty of the future, anger because you have cancer, frustration at not being able to “do enough,” or stress from increased responsibility at home.

Sometimes a person may become overly anxious, fearful, or depressed and may no longer cope well with his or her day-to-day life. If this happens, you might want to find someone outside of the family to help you or the family cope.

What to look for

  • Expression of anxiety
  • Denial of obvious tension or anxiety
  • Difficulty solving problems
  • Feeling excitable
  • Increased muscle tension (looks tense)
  • Trembling and shaking
  • Headaches
  • Getting angry

What to do

  • Listen carefully to each other.
  • Provide reassurance and support.
  • Talk about feelings and fears that you or family members may be having -- it’s OK to feel sad and frustrated.
  • Encourage, but do not force, one another to talk.
  • Seek help through counseling and support groups.
  • Use prayer or other types of spiritual support.
  • Try deep breathing and relaxation exercises several times a day. (Close eyes, breathe deeply, concentrate on one body part and relax it, starting with toes and working up to head. When relaxed try to think of a pleasant place to be, such as a beach in the morning or in a field on a spring day.)
  • Talk with the doctor about the possible use of medication for anxiety.

Do not

  • Keep your feelings inside
  • Force someone to talk if he or she is not ready to
  • Blame yourself for feeling anxious and fearful (look for the cause of these feelings, and then try to talk about it)
  • Try to reason with the person if fear or anxiety are severe (talk with the doctor about medicines and other kinds of help)

Call the doctor

  • If you are having trouble breathing
  • If you are sweating more than normal
  • If you feel very restless

Related Resources

More information on anxiety and fear.

For more information about anxiety, visit the People Living With Cancer (ASCO) and NIH Web sites.

Find books that cover this and other cancer topics at the American Cancer Society bookstore.

Recommended Consultation

You should consider discussing this topic with your doctor or health care team.

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